I like the idea of harnessing routine in a relationship, the power of making small regular deposits into the relationship ‘bank account’ that over time serve to build a strong foundation: when I say goodbye to my clients at a final session I often suggest they choose a future date in their diary to review what progress they’ve made and stay aware of any small issues that threaten to grow.
So making a yearly date to sit down to look at your relationship makes sense: often we’re so caught up with work, kids, family, friends that focussing on where our relationship is just doesn’t get a look in. Looking back on an average year for me I could assure you that enough will have happened that’s been completely out of my control that a bit of time out to thrash things out and make sense of things with my partner is usually long overdue.
If you’re single you could do this with a good friend, and return the favour, or of course make use of an experienced and qualified relationship counsellor (try www.counselling-directory.org.uk “.. a comprehensive database of UK counsellors and psychotherapists, with information on their training and experience, fees and contact details.”)
Some questions to ask might be:
What’s important to me in this relationship?
Is this being honoured at present?
Am I being the person I want to be currently in this relationship? If not, why?
If I am, what could I do more of?
What would my partner like less / more of?
Can we talk openly and honestly, even when the subject is sensitive?
How is our sex life?
I’d love to hear your thoughts on the idea of a relationship MOT .. message me below or get in touch on Twitter or email me.
