Healthy relationships don’t happen by accident, they’re the result of people putting time and attention into what feeds our relationships each day, like making small deposits into a bank account that we can draw on when we need it.
Today I invite you to pay into your relationship bank account by finding something practical that you can do for someone you care about. Something that would make a difference.
Maybe you could hang a picture that’s been leaning up against the wall for a year; run an errand; pick up some shopping; do some mending or ironing; drop off some screenwash .. over to you.
Nothing is more meaningful than when we take the time to find the right image to go with a message, so today think about finding a great gif or photo to show someone you care about how you feel. You could even draw, craft or paint something.
We’re so used to quickly capturing a moment in time, publishing it and moving on.
Take just six seconds today to stop, and share a moment in real time .. 6 seconds that will bring you closer with someone you’re with .. if you’re alone right now, use that 6 seconds to bring someone to mind you care about, and notice how that changes how you feel in your body.
Keeping a healthy sense of perspective is really important in maintaining our wellbeing.
Today, how about thinking how you can widen your focus and do something to give back to this beautiful world we live in .. pick up litter that you spot in the street, pop some money in a charity collecting tin or bag up some unwanted possessions in good condition for your local charity shop, save energy by having a short shower (after that yummy long bath you had yesterday), turn the lights off and have an early night ..
Words mean a lot to some people and less to others.
If words are important to someone you know why not write them a note to let them know how you feel .. or if you have writer’s block pop into a card shop and find the perfect message.
I’ve decided to take a little more time over my Xmas cards this year, to make my words a bit more personal and to the extra time to think about and appreciate how my relationships have sustained me over the past year.
It’s good to be shifted out of our routines .. once our relationships develop it’s easy to do the same things day to day. But doing new things together stimulates us to feel affection and encourages us to communicate more.
One of the things I’ve noticed about this year’s pandemic is that it’s jolted me out of my habits and forced me to find new ways of doing things. Friendships have deepened and I’ve got to know people in different ways .. who knew one of my colleagues has a chainsaw certificate!!
I invite you to reflect back on what and how you’ve done things differently this year, how that’s affected your relationships with others, and stay open to making this one thing you commit to continuing once all this is past.
The number one thing that shifts things for people I work with is when they start communicating differently with those around them. Sometimes that’s finding ways to say something difficult in a sightly different way, and often it’s about recognising and taking ownership of our part in an interaction.
Research shows that 5 positive interactions to every 1 more difficult interaction serve to strengthen relationships and make disagreements easier to manage.
So get into good habits .. Tell those around you what they did to make you happy today, whether that’s a ‘good work today’ to staff or a ‘thanks for that yummy meal’ to a family member or waiter.