“The goal is to have a conversation in a way so that you can have another conversation tomorrow” . Unknown
When your baby is born it may feel like it’s your birthday, with lots of attention, gifts and well wishers, but the reality is that looking after a new baby can be hard on your relationship as well as on you individually.
Children are both the best and hardest challenge for a couple, they bring joy and love as well as frustration, anxiety and test parents to their limits. Amidst all this it’s easy to lose track of what brought them here in the first place, your relationship.
Once your baby arrives it’s important to look after yourselves, not just for your own sakes but everyone in the family:
- Take time out to talk, listen and to have fun together
- Make time for each of you to be alone, hang out with friends and remember what it’s like to be you, not mum or dad
- Be flexible, and be prepared to change your approach as your child’s needs develop
- Be realistic about what you can manage .. Simplify, simplify, simplify!!
- Avoid being territorial about the baby, share with your partner even if they do things differently to you
- Be each other’s cheerleaders and point out successes at least once a day
- Keep an eye on each other to watch for signs of postnatal depression or other indications that you’re finding the adjustment tough
- Find outside sources of support in your community or online, like mumsnet or http://newdadsnetwork.com to help you through this time
And above all don’t give up, if you feel you need additional help with your relationship contact a specialist relationship counselling organization like Relate or a qualified private relationship counsellor.
Get in touch using the form below or using my contact details.