Relationships Advent Calendar Day 23 . Make an Inventory

So as we know from the kids’ school show Mary and Joseph went to Bethlehem for the census .. and today, because advent is a time for taking stock, I’d like you to start a mental tally chart of the good things in your life, and how many are possible because of the love and support of your partner.

Keep adding whenever you think of one today and watch that list grow .. it feels good to know you’re not dependent or independent of each other .. but inter-dependent, two people who support and appreciate each other.



Relationships Advent Calendar Day 15 . Express your Gratitude

Yeah yeah, been there done that .. but gratitude and appreciation is one of the single most important indicators of a relationship’s success .. so today think of all the things you’re grateful to your sweetie for, pick one and let them know how much you appreciate it, and them being in your life ..



client testimonialsI feel lucky to work with each and every one of my clients, seeing people leave after their final session feeling more at ease is incredibly rewarding.

I don’t ask my clients for testimonials but every now and then I’m lucky enough to receive some beautiful thank you cards and gifts, so here’s a look, with the bits that might identify people removed for reasons of confidentiality:

May 2017 .. “I believe that my sessions have been very helpful and I am in a better place to move forward in my relationships.”

April 2017 .. “Many thanks Armele”

February 2017 ..“Thank you so much for all your help. I couldn’t of done it without you.”

July 2016 .. “Dear Armele, Thank you for being a rock to me! I cannot thank you enough for helping me see beyond unfairness, through obstacles and among good and not so good memories!”

June 2016 .. “I want to take the opportunity to say a HUGE thank you .. You’ve no idea what a massive difference you’ve made in my life. I thought really carefully about what we discussed & you made me that much braver .. My kids have noticed a marked difference in terms of how I deal with situations & I just feel so much better all-round .. I just want to say how grateful I am for your time.”

May 2015 .. “I wanted to write something to explain how thankful I am for all the help given me, now that my need for it has come to an end. The impact our sessions have had on me has been enormous. .. I hold you in such high regard as you are .. an outstanding practitioner.”

April 2015 .. “I can’t thank you enough for all of your help and support .. I put everything in place that you suggested and followed your Action Plan and we made some very positive steps and progress this weekend.”

March 2015 .. “Talking has been really helpful, thank you.”

February 2015 .. “To Armele, thank you for all your support over the last few months. I couldn’t have got where I am now without you!”

December 2014 .. “Thank you for being there for me and listening when I needed it.”

March 2014 .. “Thank you Armele for listening and caring about me, my beautiful wife and my family. This time has changed me and I’ll remember it forever.”

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“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”

William Arthur Ward

Something often missing with couples who are experiencing difficulties is gratitude. It’s easy to take for granted all the little things our partners do for us every day and focus on the things they do wrong, the dishes in the sink, the unmended cupboard door .. but what if we take a moment to think about all the things they are doing right?

Since 2000 scientists have been finding that people who practice gratitude consistently report a host of benefits:

Stronger immune systems and lower blood pressure
More joy, optimism, and happiness
Feeling less lonely and isolated

Gratitude has two key components: firstly it reminds us that there are gifts and benefits we’re consistently receiving from our partner and those around us.

Robert Emmons, perhaps the world’s leading scientific expert on gratitude, writes “I see it as a relationship-strengthening emotion, because it requires us to see how we’ve been supported and affirmed by other people.”

The second part of practising gratitude is to express it, to acknowledge the other people who give us so many gifts, big and small, to help us achieve the goodness in our lives each day.

November is Gratitude Month, and I will be marking each day of this month by keeping a gratitude journal, noting down something different each day and meditating on it.

To start your gratitude practise, take just a few minutes each day to think of at least one thing you’re grateful to your partner for .. take note, some days this will be easier than others! ;-D

Once you’ve got this down find creative ways to let your partner know how much you appreciate what they do .. a hug and a thank you, or a note left in their lunch box to find at work?

This can also be a good exercise when you’re frustrated with your spouse and about to explode! Take some time out to remember what they do for you, and when you’re ready to face them start off by reminding them how much they do, before letting them know that broken cupboard door is driving you crazy!

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I love to hear what you think about the topics raised in my blog, and how you apply these in your life. Do leave Comments below or get in touch using my Contact details.