Relationships Advent Calendar . Day 13 . Write it Out

Nothing is more meaningful than when we take the time to write something out .. so today write your sweetie exactly how you feel and put it somewhere they’ll find it later .. in the fridge, stuck to their toothbrush or maybe on the remote!

Get creative, and spread the love ..

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Relationships Advent Calendar . Day 12 . Share a 6 Second Kiss

Take just six seconds today to share a kiss or a hug with your sweetie today .. and consider doing this every day .. 6 seconds that will bring you closer and help to grow your love are highlighted by the Gottman Institute as something that can increase closeness and make you more mindful of your honey

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Relationships Advent Calendar . Day 6 . Tell All

The number one thing couples ask for when I meet them for the first time is improved communication. What they often mean is how to disagree in a more graceful way, but also when a relationship goes wrong what is missing is a sense of appreciation for each other.

So get into good habits .. Tell your beloved what they did to make you happy today.

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Relationships Advent Calendar . Day 2 . Give thanks

Gratitude is so important in a relationship and it’s such a shame that it so often gets lost in the busyness of our everyday lives. Stop and think how you might feel if someone thanked you for something you do every day at work for example .. feel good?

Give your partner the gift of gratititude .. Thank your sweetie for something they do for you today. #adventcalendar #relationships #marriage

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Christmas-proof your relationship

“Advent is the perfect time to clear and prepare the Way. Advent is a winter training camp for those who desire peace.” – Edward Hays

xmasdisasterTomorrow is the start of December, and it’s so easy at this very special time of year to get caught up with the chores of Christmas: the cards, the gifts, the cooking .. and put our couple relationship on the back burner until the New Year.

Christmas is a wonderful time, but sometimes the stress can take its toll on our relationships, with many couples seeking counselling from me after the holiday season, when stress, the family, disappointed expectations (and one too many Baileys) have resulted in relationship melt-down.

December is a great time to take stock of our relationships, and to make sure loving each other is part of the run up to Christmas. Those of you who read my posts regularly will know I’m a firm believer in the power of small sustained actions to build and sustain loving relationships.

So for the third year in a row I invite you to follow my new and improved Relationship Advent Calendar Challenge, a great way to build acts of love into each day from December 1st, as my seasonal gift to you.

And if you haven’t met your sweetie yet ..  you’re still warmly invited to take part .. use this time to practise the actions I suggest on your friends and family.

So, what’s a “Relationship Advent Calendar?

A lot of advent calendars are about getting, but this one’s all about giving, because in a relationship we give to receive. Every day in December until Christmas, I’ll reveal a new action to build and sustain your couple relationship.

Subscribe to the blog, follow me on Twitter or Facebook and & get 25 acts of love delivered to your inbox each day, starting tomorrow December 1!

I’ll be doing all of these right along with you .. I’d love to hear how you get on ..

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Are you excited about this advent project? Do get in touch using the Comments box below or my Contacts details to the right of your screen .. happy adventing!

How Grateful Are You?

poppies bannerNovember has been designated a month for Gratitude in both the USA and Britain for different reasons. In Europe we have a Day of Remembrance on the 11th and as we see the Remembrance poppies gradually appear on our streets we are reminded of ordinary people just like us who gave their lives so that we can live in peace.

Gratitude and giving thanks are incredibly powerful mindfulness practices that we can use in our lives to increase our wellbeing and nourish relationships. It’s easy to be grateful when things are going well, and equally as easy to let this slip when life takes over or gets challenging. This of course is when we need to flex our gratitude muscle the most.

Sharing our gratitude with others is so important and research in the field of Positive Psychology shows that we are more likely to feel and express gratitude when shown kindness by a stranger than towards those whose lives we share:

When was the last time you thanked your partner for being there for you?!

How do you think they might feel if you took that one step towards them?

For the past twenty years I’ve been marking each November by re-focussing on my daily gratitude practice, and more recently I’ve been using the power of social media to keep myself on track. Making a pledge to post something different that I’m grateful for every single day of November on Twitter or Facebook really helps get me back on track!

This year I’m using Instagram to give myself the extra little challenge of finding a nice image to go with each reflection. If you fancy following me you can check if I manage it, and I’d love you to join in! Or if you prefer to receive prompts there’s an online 30 Day Gratitude Challenge (not run by me) that you could sign up for .

And of course gratitude goes hand in hand with Kindness. There are lots of groups and projects springing up around kindness and compassion, with an excellent Facebook group in my area of Tyne and Wear that encourages members to both carry out and notice acts of kindness in their everyday lives.

So go ahead and try it, ask yourself once a day every day of November .. what am I grateful for right now?

 

Gratitude-Month

References
Gratitude and Positive Psychology: What is Gratitude and What are the Benefits of Gratitude? Meade, Claire. http://positivepsychology.org.uk/gratitude/ accessed 8 November 2017.

TESTIMONIALS

client testimonialsI feel lucky to work with each and every one of my clients, seeing people leave after their final session feeling more at ease is incredibly rewarding.

I don’t ask my clients for testimonials but every now and then I’m lucky enough to receive some beautiful thank you cards and gifts, so here’s a look, with the bits that might identify people removed for reasons of confidentiality:

May 2017 .. “I believe that my sessions have been very helpful and I am in a better place to move forward in my relationships.”

April 2017 .. “Many thanks Armele”

February 2017 ..“Thank you so much for all your help. I couldn’t of done it without you.”

July 2016 .. “Dear Armele, Thank you for being a rock to me! I cannot thank you enough for helping me see beyond unfairness, through obstacles and among good and not so good memories!”

June 2016 .. “I want to take the opportunity to say a HUGE thank you .. You’ve no idea what a massive difference you’ve made in my life. I thought really carefully about what we discussed & you made me that much braver .. My kids have noticed a marked difference in terms of how I deal with situations & I just feel so much better all-round .. I just want to say how grateful I am for your time.”

May 2015 .. “I wanted to write something to explain how thankful I am for all the help given me, now that my need for it has come to an end. The impact our sessions have had on me has been enormous. .. I hold you in such high regard as you are .. an outstanding practitioner.”

April 2015 .. “I can’t thank you enough for all of your help and support .. I put everything in place that you suggested and followed your Action Plan and we made some very positive steps and progress this weekend.”

March 2015 .. “Talking has been really helpful, thank you.”

February 2015 .. “To Armele, thank you for all your support over the last few months. I couldn’t have got where I am now without you!”

December 2014 .. “Thank you for being there for me and listening when I needed it.”

March 2014 .. “Thank you Armele for listening and caring about me, my beautiful wife and my family. This time has changed me and I’ll remember it forever.”

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