Becoming parents is a marvellous time for many couples, and for others it can be rough, even leading to relationship breakdown.
The lovely Janine Rudin over at Birth and Baby Basics asked me to write a couple of articles on preparing your relationship for the birth, as well as ideas on how to manage things afterwards.
Janine is an inspiring antenatal teacher, doula, baby massage instructor and postnatal educator, who’s been providing a unique combination of professional support and services from pregnancy through to life as a young family on Tyneside since 2008.
I’m lucky enough to be a mother, but when my baby arrived it was by no means plain sailing. At times it felt like my husband, new baby and I were in a tiny boat on very stormy seas. We had very little support close by at that time and I suffered from post-natal depression. Eventually my marriage broke down, which at the time was really tough, but gave me the motivation to heal, as well as learn how to help others who might be in a similar position.
Go and take a look at Janine’s fab Birth and Baby Basics website and see what I wrote here .. and here.
I would love to hear what you think about becoming a parent? Did you struggle? Any tips? Any hopes or worries you’d like to share?
Do get in touch by Commenting below or using my Contact details to speak direct.
“Do not break the ribbon of love because of a triviality. For once torn it is never again one – a knot always remains.”
Today .. I think before I speak
Words possess a strong power, regardless of whether the effect they create is intentional or not. We can seriously harm others and ourselves through words. Therefore, we should speak fewer rather than too many words, and weigh them up in the heart before we speak. With friends it is easy to find pleasant, beautiful words, but to treat those we do not count as friends with love and friendship is a great virtue and takes self discipline.
I invite you to sit for a moment, read the words above and let them sink in, then go about your day today allowing feelings about others to rise and asking yourself ‘What does this mean, right now, for me?’
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
– Lao Tzu
I’ve been doing some fascinating work recently with some wonderful people who have come to me with a range of different problems they’d like to work on.
While each person is so individual, and has been through their own personal challenges and experiences, it’s striking that there is one theme that runs through each person’s unhappiness, which when they’ve been able to see it and work through it has helped enormously, whatever their past and current circumstances.
It takes untold amounts of personal energy to resist reality, whether that reality is that you’re in a relationship (at home or at work) with someone who doesn’t value you, or that you’re living with a debilitating and painful illness. Eventually the struggle wears people out, or it wears the relationship out, and that’s usually when they come to speak with me.
We all do it, and the more we do it the more our blinkers close in, the more we feel anxious and the more we struggle. I invite you to sit for a moment, read Lao Tzu’s words above and let them sink in, then go about your day today letting reality be reality, allowing the changes that go on around you and asking yourself the one question ‘What does this mean, right now, for me?’