I’m fortunate to work with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy‘s media team from time to time, and they recently asked me to comment for an article on their website about parenting and mental health. It’s always nice to be recognised by your professional association for the work you do.
You can read the article here .. https://www.bacp.co.uk/news/news-from-bacp/2024/25-january-how-to-create-positive-parent-and-child-relationships/
Some of you may have visited this website in the past few months and seen that I wasn’t taking on new clients. I didn’t want to share too much at the time but now things are settling down it feels ok to share more about what’s been going on.
I’d been feeling tired and physically not quite right since 2020, but put it down to ageing and lockdown changes. Unfortunately in May 2023 I had to go to A&E and after an emergency operation I was told I had Stage 3 cancer. It was a huge shock.
I spent the summer having treatment at the Northern Centre for Cancer Care and over that time met so many wonderful healthcare workers and patients, it’s been a really humbling experience. It struck me that I’ve experienced being there for a relatively short time but these professionals work with cancer day in day out and their ability for empathy as well as the sheer amount of information they deal with on an ongoing basis is astonishing.
It’s been an incredibly challenging time and I’m so lucky to have amazing family and friends around me. Having spent time so close to the reality of my mortality has changed me and I’m hoping to take the difficulties and use them to enjoy life more as well as be a better therapist.
The cancer treatment put me straight into surgical menopause, and I have been fortunate to find resources during my journey so far that I’ve put links to below, some local to me and others available to anyone. Do get in touch if you have any to add to the list and hopefully others will find it helpful too.
Really enjoyed recording this podcast about boundaries in relationships with Annalisa Barbieri. She and Hester the producer made it so relaxed it felt just like a telephone chat. Can’t believe how Northern I sound though!
https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9wb2QubGluay8xNTY3MTkwMzU4LnJzcw/episode/NjI5NjRjMDIwYmY2NjYwMDEyYWZlYjE4?hl=en-GB&ved=2ahUKEwj89eaK28D4AhXZiVwKHR8cDvMQjrkEegQIAhAF&ep=6
#conversationswithannalisabarbieri
#boundaries
#psychotherapy
#bacp
I had the opportunity to work with Annalisa Barbieri again on a reader’s issue. I love the variety of subjects that come up and this time it was a reader writing in about something going on between her husband and his family.
Have a look and see what you think .. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/feb/11/why-is-my-mother-in-law-still-so-angry-about-her-exs-affair
I enjoyed working on another piece in the Guardian with Annalisa Barbieri. She’s so easy to talk to and we had a good long conversation as always which results in just a few well chosen words.
I wanted to share with you a great habit that I was taught to carry out at the turn of the year, and which has served me well .. which is reflecting on what happened in the past year and how I handled it.
I love the quiet time in between Christmas and New Year and I made a commitment to myself a while ago to take this time for myself, for quiet enjoyment of the season, the weather, and taking a look back over the past twelve months.
Life has a habit of throwing the unexpected in our way (thanks 2020!), however well we plot and plan our lives, and often I’ll be surprised at the things that happened that I could never have predicted the year before. Sometimes these are wonderful and sometimes less so: in examining how I responded I find clues to who I am and how I’m showing up in my life and others’
So maybe you’d like to join me. Carve out a little space for yourself in the next few days to ask these questions:
What happened in this past year that I could never have predicted?
How did I respond? Was that helpful to me and those around me?
Who was important to me in the past year?
What one thing would I have liked to be different?
What would I like to do differently in this coming year?
I’d love to hear your thoughts .. do you have any other questions you’ve found useful?
Thank you for being part of this year’s Relationships Advent Calendar, I hope you’ve had as much fun joining in the fun as I’ve had creating it ..
I’ve been inspired along the way by the penguins at noomi, whose Kindness Advent Calendar I follow every year, so check that out too.
And today of course is a day for family so I’m off to spend a peaceful day with mine, a bit different from usual having coached the older generation in Zoom skills this year .. wishing you a love-filled day close to your special ones, whoever they are ..
You might be slap bang in the middle of the last day of holiday prep today .. last minute cards to drop off, ticking items off your to do list, some will still be working .. and it’s tricky to move instantly from that ‘doing’ state of mind to the ‘being’ and ‘feeling’ one we value more at home .. so today take 5 minutes to work out what helps you make that transition .. maybe a shower when you get home, a run, a 10 minute sit down with a cup of something calming after the kids are in bed, a minute of mindful breathing or a 5 minute stretch ..
One Mindful Minute
* To prepare breathe normally while counting your breaths for one minute
* Once you know how many breaths you take in a minute sit somewhere comfortable where you won’t be disturbed
* Close your eyes
* Concentrate on the breath entering and exiting your body while counting each breath
* When you reach the number of breaths you usually take in a minute (around 13-16), open your eyes, come back into the room and give thanks for this moment of peace
Peace Be With You.
#adventcalendar #adventchallenge #relationships #wellbeing
We may not get to see the kids nativity this year, but as we know Mary and Joseph went to Bethlehem for the census .. and today I’d like you to start a mental tally chart of the good things in your life, and how many are possible because of the love and support of others.
Keep adding whenever you think of one and watch that list grow .. find a beautiful notebook and start a gratitude journal if that’s how you roll .. notice how it feels to know you’re not dependent on or independent of each other .. but inter-dependent, people who support and appreciate each other.
#adventcalendar #adventchallenge #relationships #wellbeing
You might be right in the middle of the Christmas whirl right now, all that wrapping ahead of you!! Or maybe Christmas is going to be quieter this year. Don’t forget there are other ways to give at Christmas, and people who are altruistic can often feel more satisfied in life, plus it’s an opportunity to spend time with others .. what’s to lose?!
So take some time out of your busy schedule, switch off the TV and have a think about how you’d both like to give back in the coming year .. if time’s an issue but you’re cash rich how about setting up a monthly direct debit to a charity?
Or volunteer for a project, cleaning up your local beach or park, helping out with the National Trust (you can actually get free membership for being a volunteer) .. the possibilities are endless .. you get to keep the warm Christmas glow for the whole year!!!
#adventcalendar #adventchallenge #relationships #wellbeing
Armele P. MBACP(Accred) . Psychotherapeutic Counselling & EMDR Therapy 