Taking Stock

I wanted to share with you a great habit that I was taught to carry out at the turn of the year, and which has served me well .. which is reflecting on what happened in the past year and how I handled it.

I love the quiet time in between Christmas and New Year and I made a commitment to myself a while ago to take this time for myself, for quiet enjoyment of the season, the weather, and taking a look back over the past twelve months.

Life has a habit of throwing the unexpected in our way (thanks 2020!), however well we plot and plan our lives, and often I’ll be surprised at the things that happened that I could never have predicted the year before. Sometimes these are wonderful and sometimes less so: in examining how I responded I find clues to who I am and how I’m showing up in my life and others’

So maybe you’d like to join me. Carve out a little space for yourself in the next few days to ask these questions:

What happened in this past year that I could never have predicted?

How did I respond? Was that helpful to me and those around me?

Who was important to me in the past year?

What one thing would I have liked to be different?

What would I like to do differently in this coming year?

I’d love to hear your thoughts .. do you have any other questions you’ve found useful?

Relationships Advent Calendar Day 22 . Give to Receive

You might be right in the middle of the Christmas whirl right now, all that wrapping ahead of you!! Or maybe Christmas is going to be quieter this year. Don’t forget there are other ways to give at Christmas, and people who are altruistic can often feel more satisfied in life, plus it’s an opportunity to spend time with others .. what’s to lose?!

So take some time out of your busy schedule, switch off the TV and have a think about how you’d both like to give back in the coming year .. if time’s an issue but you’re cash rich how about setting up a monthly direct debit to a charity?

Or volunteer for a project, cleaning up your local beach or park, helping out with the National Trust (you can actually get free membership for being a volunteer) .. the possibilities are endless .. you get to keep the warm Christmas glow for the whole year!!!

#adventcalendar #adventchallenge #relationships #wellbeing

Relationships Advent Calendar . Day 21 . What’s Your Jam?

Nothing brings back memories quite like music .. think about your friends and family .. what’s ‘your’ song?

For most of us there’s a special feeling associated with these tunes ..

So today your task is to find the song or songs that bring back these special memories and share them .. have it playing when they walk in from work, call the local radio station and ask them to do a dedication, email a YouTube clip or post it on their Facebook wall .. or, if you have one, play it on your guitar, piano or kazoo the next time you see them ..

#adventcalendar #adventchallenge #relationships #wellbeing

Relationships Advent Calendar Day 19 . Admit When You’re Wrong

Relationships thrive where both people can give a little ground, and let’s face it, who doesn’t like to be right?

Today your task is to find something someone else is right about, give them a big beaming smile and let them know, with grace and love ..

Some of the most powerful words in your relationships may well be “Yes, you’re right.”

Afterwards spend some time thinking about how easy or difficult it was to do that, and how the other person responded .. what did you learn?

#adventcalendar #adventchallenge #relationships #wellbeing

Relationships Advent Calendar Day 18 . Who’s in my corner?

Christmas and New Year is traditionally a time for partying and family, and also a time for reflection and taking stock, making plans and starting afresh ..

Today take some time to think about which of your friends and family support you: who listens to you without judgement when you need to talk; who refuses to take sides; and who’s not afraid to tell you gently when you might just (gulp) be in the wrong .. cultivate these people and pledge to do the same for them in your turn ..

#adventchallenge #relationships #wellbeing

Relationships Advent Calendar . Day 16 . High Five

Sometimes it’s tempting to take the good things for granted and only focus on the things people do wrong .. we can have long conversations with our friends and family about the difficulties they’re having.

How about taking some time to high five someone you know for something they do or have been doing really well .. this year maybe more than any other we could all do with a reminder of the efforts we’ve been putting in.

#adventcalendar #adventchallenge #relationships #wellbeing

Relationships Advent Calendar Day 15 . Gratitude Express

Yeah yeah, been there done that .. but gratitude and appreciation are one of the single most important indicators of our relationships’ resilience ..

So today your task is to think of all the things you’re grateful to your loved ones and colleagues for .. then pick one and make sure you let them know ..

#adventcalendar #adventchallenge #relationships #wellbeing

Relationships Advent Calendar . Day 10 . Look After Yourself

Today’s a reminder that it’s important to take care of ourselves so that we have enough left over to show up in our relationships with others.

So schedule some time out today, buy yourself something lush, just stop for ten minutes and have a cup of tea, or luxuriate in the bath with some bubbles ..

#adventcalendar #adventchallenge #relationships #wellbeing

Relationships Advent Calendar . Day 1 . Forgive for yourself

Happy December .. and welcome to the first day of this challenge that we’ll be carrying out together in the days leading up to Christmas!!

Today is about preparing the ground for the month ahead.

Holding on to hurt from the past can prevent us from enjoying our present .. so today take some time to think about someone who hurt you in the past, breathe deeply and send them forgiveness for 5 straight minutes.

Forgiveness is a funny thing, ideally it takes remorse and taking responsibility from the person who hurt us as well as the willingness to let go on our side.

Sometimes though the other person either won’t, or maybe can’t ask for forgiveness if they’re no longer in our lives .. this exercise isn’t for them, it’s for us to be able to let go of that hurt just a little bit more ..

#adventchallenge #relationships #wellbeing

Relationships Advent Calendar Day 22 . Give of Yourself

You’re probably right in the middle of the Christmas whirl right now, school shows, parties, and all that wrapping ahead of you!! But don’t forget there are other ways to give at Christmas, and couples who are altruistic can often be more satisfied in their couple relationship, plus it’s an opportunity to spend time together .. what’s to lose?!

So take some time out of your busy schedule, switch off the TV and talk with your sweetie about how you’d both like to give back in the coming year .. if time’s an issue but you’re cash rich how about setting up a monthly direct debit from your joint account to a charity you decide on together?

Or volunteer as a couple for a project, cleaning up your local beach or park, helping out with the National Trust (you can actually get free membership for being a volunteer) .. the possibilities are endless .. you get to keep the warm Christmas glow for the whole year!!!

And for those of you yet to meet your sweetie, what a great opportunity to meet like-minded people!

What did you do, let me know in the Comments below, or tweet me!